Tangled Up In Blue

I am sitting in Cafe Gothland and my fingers keep hitting a "z" every time I want to type a "y" because I've been using a German keyboard for so long. This is my first time actually using my laptop thus far in Germany; this is probably also the longest passage I've written in English for some time now. As a matter of fact, I do believe that this is the first time in at least a week during which I am actually seated and collecting my thoughts. How I wish I could just sit here and continue to dwindle away my time, writing and thinking! We have been speaking rapid-fire Spanish in our apartment since the arrival yesterday of my second roommate, Cristina, from Spain. It has been really fun - each conversation brings back more vocabulary. However, there are those times when one yearns to simply communicate in good old American English. Thank goodness I have this live journal as my outlet. I have been in Detmold since September 26 after a hellish journey here (a three-hour delayed flight from London to Frankfurt, an hour delayed train ride - WHAT, heaven forbid, would a journey be for Geeta in Germany without delays, a local train that was mistakenly taken, a practically hitchhiked ride back to Detmold, and nothing at hand except the extra keys to a friend's apartment...where someone else whom I'd never met was already settled!), the last three weeks have been anything but peaceful and easy riding. Many of you perhaps already know this, but we are constructing a kitchen...yes, as in installing an electric stove, fridge, cabinets, and building a sink + counter top piece, not to mention hooking up plumbing and installing light fixtures. I was so overwhelmed, and often still am, but things are looking up. I think we'll be more or less finished with the kitchen in less than a week, and our apartment is very nice and roomy. There have been interpersonal, intrapersonal, and personal problems galore in all contexts (emotional, physical, and mental), but none of it is worth getting into in this space. Let's just word it as at the end of the day, a supposed cunning vixen and a burden are the last things one wants to be, and a complicated love triangle is the ultimate provider of stress and tangled up feelings. Perhaps Robert Frost put it best when he said, "Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." Sometimes I wonder how I am still sitting here. I mean, I hitchhiked with a random German guy at around 10 PM! Sebastian and I carried a slate of material on our heads Indian-style for 65 minutes because we had to walk back from the hardware store to our home after the bus route had ceased to run. I've been living out of someone else's kitchen for the least three weeks. I watched someone explode over a broken heart, was chastised by a friend and accused of being unfaithful, drank more than I have in a long time in the last three weeks, and have been showering with no curtain and no tiling (we have cork flooring in our bathroom). My jeans are loose, sleep is lacking, and yet I am continuing to pour energy into the violin. I have to chuckle and dramatically ask myself, is this the starving artist lifestyle? In any case, here I am. Back in Detmold, and after three packed, volatile, and difficult weeks, I am finally ready and looking forward to clearing the slate and starting anew. Building a kitchen has been a great learning experience. Dealing with some of the personalities I've encountered has taught me a lot. I just hope that I can somehow find some peace within and stay true to what is best for me regardless at what life brings forth. Time to pack up and face the German rain...