Shifting Identities

No one informed me that 4/20 on Germany is apparently celebrated on 1/9. I felt like I was walking through a Boston Conservatory dorm hallway as I made my way home from school. I even started feeling a bit loopy after inhaling some of the secondhand smoke. Who would have thought, here in little Detmold... Today, I realized that I am of an ever-changing identity. It sounds like a redundant or obvious thing to say - of course, things are always changing. But consider this: I grew up as an Indian in America and now live in Germany. There are things that I love and hate about all three places. I just need to find a way to feel at home wherever I am. In Chicago, I felt so odd for the first few days; by the time I became comfortable, I had to come back to Germany. Here in Detmold, things feel good but a bit unsettled - it certainly showed in how I played in my lesson today. When I was in Chicago, I missed Boston friends and European friends a lot. Now that I am here, I miss American family and friends. It's all compounded by the fact that I miss Indian family no matter where I am. Basically, I wish I could just stuff everyone and everything into a box and take it with me wherever I go. I think that these feelings only enrich one's life - I wouldn't trade in my "three identities" for anything. I just wish the transitions were a bit easier. Frau Mathe, my wonderful teacher, offered some words of advice: "Make your home your violin. Wherever that is, that's where you are, and be comforted by it." I liked that thought a great deal.